The Eternal Flame

In May of 2002, my friend Kathy informed me that her fiancee was dying of cancer and she needed a soul searching journey to gain insight. She had always wanted to go to Buckskin Gulch, a narrow deep underground slot canyon in Utah. Every time she had mentioned this power spot in the past I had felt anxious and stated that I wasn't ready to be trapped in this claustrophobic underground chamber. This time, however, it felt significant to make the journey. We planned to begin our trek at Wire Pass Trailhead, hike to the confluence of the Paria River, and downstream to Lee's Ferry. This journey was just under 50 miles through breathtaking canyon backcountry.

The first morning we dropped under the ground into Wire Pass. I did a mental inventory to see if we had all the necessary supplies. Kathy began to complain that her reliable hiking shoes were no longer comfortable. We traded shoes, and decided to swap back and forth. Spirit reassured us that we had everything that we needed for the trip, even though our packs were extraordinarily light. We were informed that "less is more", and simplicity was the theme.

As we moved through the undulating walls of the birth canal of Wire Pass, we noticed petroglyphs. Spirit reminded us to keep it simple as the imagery of the petroglyphs...to stay in our heart, not in our minds, and to focus on inner awareness as we journeyed in this truly remarkable place. As evening approached, rocks were illuminated with oranges, rusty reds and deep contrasting violets. The Gulch began to widen out a little bit offering an escape route in case of a flash flood. We decided to create a primitive campsite, complete with our bubblewrap mattresses and freeze-dried gourmet dinner.

The next morning, I had a hearty laugh when Kathy innocently presented her hard black beans as the meal she planned to prepare for the second night. She didn't realize that beans require many hours of soaking and boiling. As a result, we were going to have to ration our food. As we hiked, twice we saw decomposing deer. We entered into shadowy secretive chambers, and noticed the walls were alive with spirits. We arrived at an underground room and huge statuesque boulders seemed to reach up and catch beacons of light coming from above! We were mesmerized and astounded. Spirit said to let go and keep it simple! We humans get extraordinarily complex. Near the end of the twelve mile gulch, we slid down challenging ropes, dropping deeper into the darkest chamber.

At the confluence, where the canyon and river come together, we shifted direction to hike our next 35 miles to Lees Ferry. We discovered some gorgeous lush virgin springs and fern filled grottos, with water dripping and oozing from the rocks. We replenished our deep thirst, and kept moving with passionate intent. We hiked the cool Paria River and by late afternoon set up camp in a remote almost hidden side canyon. That evening, I hiked solitary up the sandy trail to Wrather Arch, the largest span in the Paria River Drainage. I felt the strong presence of Spirit through the massive rock portal. It was time for me to withdraw, and place my awareness within. I needed to expand life force sexual energy and use its potency as a catalyst to manifest my life's purpose!

The next morning as we hiked toward Lee's Ferry, the canyon demonstrated an amazing transformation. Convoluted Navajo slickrock began to rise 1400 feet above the river. It seemed endless, the miles we traveled that day...journeying within with Spirit...walking, walking, walking... increased heightened awareness, increased sexual arousal...restless energy that wanted to keep moving...walking...walking...walking...endless miles up and down over canyons...journeying with Spirit! Another layer of the onion skin unpeeled and the outer transforation of the contrasting landscape began to reflect on my inner world as well. Spirit revealed that I was to take my life force energy and sexuality, hold it within, and expand energy from the inside out. As I build this life-force creative energy, it is to be used as a momentum to manifest my life's purpose.

On the last day of this passionate journey with Spirit,by I kept focusing on finding the petroglyphs that had been "advertised" in my guide book. Kathy bent over to tie her shoe, "accidentally" bumped into a large rock, and screeched with delight as she stumbled across the largest rock art panel she had ever seen. By contrast, I was trying to control with my mind. She wasn't even looking for the art and just bumped into it! Another lesson from Spirit...bypass the mind...the heart is the master...the mind serves the master...the rewards are synchronisities and expansion of the highest magnitude. Bypass the mind. The heart is the master. The mind serves the master, and the result is peace and joy.

By mid-day we arrived at Lee's Ferry feeling a huge sense of accomplishment. This journey had become an allegory for my life. I realized that I had increased confidence. I had come equipped into this life with everything I needed to handle life's amazing journey. Less is more...keep it simple and stay in the heart. It was time for me to expand sexual life force energy and creativity from the inside out. As this energy grew, I was to use it to manifest my dreams.