"Into The Cave "
In June 2000 while in Washington, I was feeling very vulnerable. Some uncomfortable feelings arose. After being influenced by others’ negative energy, I felt weighted down and extremely anxious. My return drive home to Arizona became a quest for inner balance. As I entered Yellowstone National Park, I was greeted by a huge male moose. I stopped to observe and he continued to stare. I felt that he was telling me that I needed to see the positive aspect of what I had accomplished in Washington, and that I needed to have more confidence in myself.

I continued on, deeper into the park and many of the animals became symbols for a new learning experience. I moved closer to an elk herd that spoke to me of endurance...learning to continue to pace myself in order to express my physically demanding creative energy.

I had always dreamed about seeing a bear in a natural setting. Just then a black bear appeared off the side of the road. My dreams manifested as I continued to see many black bears in the 24 hour period that I was in the park. Many people had been there for days and hadn’t seen one solitary bear. I felt as if the bears had a message for me. I also viewed many buffalo and pronghorn sheep.

Early the next morning at 4 a.m., I went to the place in the road where wolves cross to get to their den after a hunt. For hours I waited with all the other wolf fans and not one wolf appeared. Disappointed, I left. My inner voice communicated with Spirit..…I told Spirit that I had seen every animal in the park except for a grizzly bear and a wolf. Just as I reached an intersection near the ranger station, I heard the eerie sound of howling wolves. It was as if Spirit had heard my plea.

I proceeded up a trail that had a sign warning hikers of “heavy grizzly bear activity”. I was compelled to find a grizzly bear. As I hiked, I saw tufts of brown fur. Hoping it was grizzly fur, I later realized that it was from the buffalo off in the distance. I felt honored to receive this unusual gift. I reflected a moment and heard a message from the buffalo..…I heard that I needed to be thankful for all that I have, to honor the negativity others may demonstrate without taking it personally, and to continue to pray for incite on this journey.

Disappointed that I experienced wolf energy, but not grizzly bear energy, I proceeded toward the park entrance. I was curious about seeing the Old Faithful geyser, detoured, and arrived in time to view the eruption. This side trip created the necessary delay in order to finally experience the Great Grizzly! There beside the road was the grizzly devouring a deer. His magnificence was amazing as I felt bolts of energy passing through me. It is from the strength of this animal that I learned what was necessary in order to accomplish my goals. From the inner cave of the bear, while hibernating and quieting the chatter of the mind, I could discover the answers that I was searching for. The gift of the bear is the power of inner knowing. As I exited Yellowstone, another moose reminded me to remember his message.
The inspiration of nature drew me to Bryce Canyon Fairyland Trail. The golden yellow rock spires appeared as magical angels and fairies. Two rock formations reminded me of the energetic relationship between my life partner and myself as we use the bear energy to accomplish our goals. They are depicted in the foreground near the bear in the painting. As I hiked the mysterious winding trail, I rounded a corner, just happened to glance up and saw an awesome sight. A huge window with what appeared to be fairies and beings guarding its entrance. Note all the personified rocks in the painting. Also note the two caves at the top of the painting, reminding me of the bear’s message to go “Into the Cave.”

I returned to Tucson inspired to translate my journey into this painting. While sitting in the backyard with my friend, I was relating the negative Washington experience. Suddenly, we transformed the negative chatter into positive insight and a huge black butterfly came over and hovered between the two of us, as if to affirm the transformation. Note the butterfly surrounding the bear. There was magic in the air. An hour later, I checked on a bird’s nest that was in my front entryway. A few inches from my window was a long snake coiled up in the nest! As his tongue waved in a warning manner, I could still see one egg behind him. After prodding his tail end with a stick he slithered out and the egg was saved. The snake’s message was to continue to transmute negative into positive. This lesson was reinforced shortly afterwards. As I experienced someone’s negative energy, I remembered the snake medicine. This is an ongoing process…

The magic continued! As I viewed the photographs from my journey, I discovered an apparent wolf spirit among the trees next to the grizzly bear. Totally mystified, I painted the wolf image as portrayed in the photo next to the bear. As I painted I realized the meaning of the wolf phenomenon…To share the lessons and messages with others in order that they may understand their own process. It was in the loneliness of the bear cave in my studio that I came to terms with this.