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"The Kiss, The Agreement"
In the winter of 98/99,
I developed a powerful connection with a sacred mountain near my home
in Arizona. Through a series of journeys in a quest to climb to the pinnacle,
I discovered the sacred teachings of the mountain. Spirit showed me that
I couldnt control the outcome of a situation, and that by following
the path of least resistance I could experience joy and a more direct
route to personal fulfillment.
A short time later in March of 99, my life partner and I were in
San Francisco for a show and lecture. I was enthusiastic about sharing
the teachings of the mountain at my lecture. Due to unforeseen events
the circumstances of my lecture changed. I wasnt taking the path
of least resistance and going with the flow and disappointment welled
up. I thought that I was in control. Apparently, I hadnt
learned the lesson of the mountain. The series of events that followed
were all designed to ingrain a new way of thinking.
We left San Francisco and forged ahead over dangerous mountain passes
through an intense snowstorm. We spent the night in Reno, Nevada. Early
the next morning on March 9, I was in the steam room of the hotels
exercise club. A heightened awareness occurred that I relished being in
the physical body. Sensing the prescence of Spirit, I agreed to listen
and accept the messages that were being sent. In hindsight, I was negotiating
with spirit to stay in my physical body .
We left Reno to drive to our next show in Denver. Later that afternoon
as we passed Wells, Nevada, the landscape became increasingly surreal
and I started to notice every little detail, as if in slow motion. I unfastened
my seat belt and turned around to retrieve something from the back seat
and felt an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia. When I sat back down
my partner emphatically reminded me to put on my seat belt. The landscape
became even more alive. I noticed with the approaching sunset, how every
subtle nuance of shape, color, and light played on the trees and mountains.
We passed exit #333, the sign said: "Deeth, Nevada". I thought
to myself, Death, what a strange name for a town, as I misconstrued
the E for an A. We had gone a few miles when my partner seemed intrigued
and almost hypnotized by the light snow flurries dancing on the road.
All of a sudden, as we crested the top of a hill we skidded on black ice,
lost control, hit an embankment, flipped 3 or more times and landed with
my side door toward the ground. We both lost consciousness. My partner
saw many beings crowded in the truck with us, working on our physical
bodies so that we wouldnt land on impact with major injuries.They
reassured him that it wasnt his time to cross over. During this
time, I remember being in the tunnel of light that we pass through when
leaving this physical plane. I made an agreement to stay in my body, change
my control issues, let go and allow things to happen more...not to push
to control the end results. I asked for Spirits help to lighten
my load and allow myself to receive more. I was told to allow Spirit to
guide me. I was dualistic in agreeing to these terms. Being half in the
tunnel and half in the physical plane, my partners higher self pulled
me back into my body by landing on top of me, which accounts for the premonition
of claustrophobia before the accident. My leg was pinned down, and I jolted
back into my body.I knew that we were in trouble. Iassumed my partner
was conscious (he wasnt) and requested in a loud voice many, many
times to blow the horn. He wasnt responding. Finally, after shouting,
I partially pulled him back into his body. He later told me that he heard
my voice, as if it were Through a tunnel, far away, even though we were
in close proximity. He heard that I was in trouble, as I also was asking
him to try to move his position, taking the painful pressure off my leg.
His weight had pulled me back from going into the light. Before both of
us became conscious I heard him say aloud There are so many beings
crowded here with us. I had assumed he was conscious. He was not
totally on this plane until the rescuers came , broke the window and pulled
him out into the freezing night.
It had seemed like
an eternity waiting for help. Asking my partner to blow the horn was a
desperate attempt to escape from entrapment . After being pulled out from
the front window and thinking my partner was fully conscious and not injured,
I checked for damage to all my original paintings. It wasnt until
the next day that I discovered that the only one that was damaged was
Pathway to the Light! Another irony was the fact that under
the wheel of the vehicle in the snow, I found one of my favorite books,
The Language of Letting Go! In retrospect, this was the very
message that Spirit had been sending me. Thankfully, my partner and I
sustained no permanent injuries.
The next day,after being released from the hospital, I drove a rental
truck to Wells, to retrieve all our belongings from the totalled vehicle.
It was strange that I got stuck in the mud at the same place our accident
had occurred. After my partner and I regrouped, I felt a compelling urge
to push ahead to go on to Denver for the next show. The biggest snow storms
of the season were moving into the mountains that we would be passing
through. My sister and partner strongly discouraged my pushing ahead .
I alternated between times of anger and times of letting go. I struggled
to learn the lesson. We headed toward our home in Arizona . Because of
a big event in Las Vegas, there were no available motel rooms and we continued
to drive, finally stopping at the Hoover Dam at 3:00 a.m. Exhausted, (my
partner with his broken rib and me still in shock) we decided to sleep
in the moving van for the night. The next morning my partner awoke me.
We then shared the most passionate kiss of our lifetime
A CELEBRATION
OF BEING ALIVE!
As time elapsed, all became clear. From an ensuing canyon retreat, Spirit
came through with a message for me. As I let go, relax and trust, I will
be open to receiving abundant joy, love, and nurturing. If I constrict
and try to control the energy, I will experience fear, negativity and
disharmony. Dont be too hard on myself as I am human and make mistakes.
Simply observe the constriction and reopen the receiving.
The Kiss, The Agreement is about the agreement my life partner and I made
to experience this accident in order to come back with greater commitment
to do the work we had come into this life time for.
When I returned to the cave near the sacred mountain, I instinctively
picked up a rock with a significant meaning. It looked like a torso of
a body without a head. I then realized that I need to stay out of my head.
If I hadnt worn my seatbelt in the accident, I would have been decapitated
.
Notice the symbolism from my experiences in the canyon in this painting.
Red-tail hawk which took off in flight from a few feet in front of me
down the canyon showing the way:
Butterfly which means transformation.
Mountain Lion which means accepting a leadership role. When I was sleeping
in the canyon I had a dream in which there was no escape from the lion.
Hummingbird which symbolizes the joy in letting go.
Dragonfly which means illusion. Everything isnt always the way it
appears.
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